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Next Food Network Star: More Dramatic Than Ever

Is it just me, or do we not already have enough Dramatic For No Reason television shows around? It’s one thing to watch a cop drama or a law show and expect the dramatics to occur, but it’s another entirely to have a bunch of whiners and jerks on a Food Network program. (For those who don’t know, The Next Food Network Star is a program where contestants compete to create their own food show on the network, as well as win a spot in the show’s magazine, sometimes a cookbook deal, etc.)

You know, I think they planned this. They must have planned this. How else can you explain a sex-obsessed TV host wannabe who has it out for her co-contestant so badly that she openly ridicules her, both inside the kitchen and out, both to her face and behind her back? In the past seasons of the Next Food Network Star, we’ve seen such camaraderie and joy; sure, there’s been heartache, stress, and tension, as well as a few contestants who definitely were not so nice to one another, but not to the extreme level we witnessed last Sunday.

I’ve been looking forward to this show ever since I remembered that summer time meant time to watch it; yet, now, I find myself not looking forward to it at all. I want to give it another chance, even though I’m not attached to any of the chefs yet, but I’m afraid I’m going to be really sickened again by the immediate judgment and hatred I saw last Sunday. Why watch that when I can just log onto Facebook?

And what is with this whole “Top 75 moments” form the premiere? I barely found 10 moments that were worth commemorating. Why are you forcing this show so much? If you let it carry itself it’s plenty of fun. Don’t go looking for ways to push it or make it hip when you should instead be worrying about a Fight Club starting between your contestants.

And speaking of which, where do you find these people? Do you really think Penny’s “Making Cooking Sexy” is a great idea—and aren’t you already doing that with so many good looking cooks on your network as it is? Overkill! If that woman doesn’t change her sex-obsessed approach—and stop bullying other contestants!—I definitely won’t keep turning in. There are plenty of other reality shows around for people who want that kind of mess. It’s ironic that she’s trying to turn everyone on when, in fact, her actions are doing nothing but turning me off the program entirely. She’s making me miss the crabbiness that was Briana from the last season; at least she wasn’t b*tchy for no reason, and at least her cooking was boss.

Look, Food Network—we don’t want you to turn into the Discovery Channel or The Learning Channel, which are mere shadows of their former selves these days. I get that reality shows are all the rage right now, but you are a food show; we are more interested in the food—and the food makers’ personalities—than we are in the dramatic nonsense that’s going to occur between contestants, from catfights to misogynistic comments. No thanks, Food Network; this is not what we are hoping for when we tune in to your programs.